The Goddess blesses you with love, healing and transformation, and infinite seeds of joy. Light and love.
Past Life Memory from a Dream
Today I felt like sharing some of my writing. Have you ever had a past life memory?
Excepts from my autobiography
“I was somewhere in another place on a mountain. It looked like night because there were stars. We stood on a sort of precipice. I was shown the earth down below in space. It looked like a huge light ball covered with yellow electricity( if you can draw this). It was spinning very fast and this person dressed in orange robes like a ancient rishi or sage(orange clothes with stick and water pot in hand) was standing below this huge tree. He was speaking to this young girl about 9 or 10 years of age. That girl was me. So I was witnessing the whole scene of myself interacting with this being or ancient Guru. He was showing me the earth down below. I could only see me from the back and I had long black hair. He was speaking to me but not with the mouth but with the mind. The earth was spinning very fast and I could see the incarnations of Ram & Seeta, Krishna and other people pop up from the earth from time to time. I saw them ascending upwards from the earth. I understood that the spinning represented time passing by. So it meant that time was passing by very fast and I was given the instruction to take birth on earth and spread divine love or love for God. I did not say a word but I was going to jump into the earth and he stopped me. He made me come to the earth using a passageway by going through the earth or mountain that I was standing on. I started to go downwards through the earth like tunnel and then I forgot who I was and came out of the dream or vision. I can’t remember which one. What I remember is that it was so very vivid and colorful and felt so good that I made a sketch of it. Everything was also full of so much light. Not like earth. This was the only sketch of a vision or dream I ever made because it was so profound to me”.
When I look back at my life I could see that I was born with this certain love for God that I could not get out of my system. I always spoke to God in my head like I knew God already and God was beyond the religion and ideologies. I allowed myself to learn about the teachings from the Christian and Hindu philosophies but my relationship was like me and a spouse. I would love God but also quarrel with God.
As the years went by and many miraculous things happened, I have realized that I was born with this great gift that can lead others to experience their true self and for them to experience true meditation.”
Don’t have the time written for the following but I think it was around 2012 – 2014
As I meditated I experienced myself as Devi so I asked and contemplated the question :
“Oh Divine Mother, who are you?”
Here’s the answer that came:
- Everything runs on energy. I am the the energy of the cosmos.
- Matter cannot be created or destroyed. It can only change. In the heart of matter there is no matter.
- Hence all matter is my illusion.
- So I am embedded in every particle of the universe. You cannot see me.
- I am the vibration of the universe as it dances around.
- My behavior is mysterious but in the highest frequencies I am spirit.
- The tornadoes, the flowers and everything reflect a certain pattern according to how long it exists in the seen and seeded universe.
- I am also consciousness.
- This consciousness and energy always exists.
- This play of consciousness will always exist but the know-er can only know one moment in time.
- Who is the “knower”?- The “knower” can only know the known when the “knower” and the known becomes “being”.
- I take the “knower” to the known.
- The known can be known in the human body or similar body types in similar planets, when truth is sought.
- Separate from my illusory nature, I exist in the human body in a primal nature responsible for the assimilation of one matter into another providing energy for the entity.
- The energy elements of the sun, wind, earth are converted by these plants into food. The human body converts these into energy. The organism then uses the energy to live and evolve.
- So I am hidden in the spark of the human being.
- My energy can be used for good or evil depending on the brain and emotions of the human being.
- Those of a primal nature are destructive and those that operate at a higher level of thinking are creative.
- In terms of creativity, I am responsible for all the art, music, literature and science.
- I am the different forms of vibration.
- I am joy.
- I am bliss.
- I am always with you. You cannot exist without me.
- I am the divine force in the guru.
- I do the work of consciousness.
- Without me no work can be done
- My modes of operation is within the three “gunas”.
- I am the all possibilities of human expression.
- I am the living force in the seeds.
- I am the love energy that brings about creation
- I am beyond space and time.
- From me all beings of all realms come into being
- My experiences are vast and complete evolution takes the human back to see his divinity-to see the possibilities.
- I am the Shakti in Shiva.
- My face is reflected in the knower of the known.
- I am absolute power.
- I am the force in the wind.
- I am the force in the atom.
- I am in the fire of the volcano.
- I am Devi. I am felt in the utterance of “maahh”.
- The universe springs from within me and I am part of all avatars, gurus, saints and sages.
- For it is I who gives them energy and wisdom.
- And through them knowledge and wisdom is spread according to their frequency of vibration.
- I work through words, energy, light and sound and the emotion of the sacred heart.
- It is by my intelligence that the blueprint of all forms or yantras exists for it is the very nature of energy vibration.
- From yantras all forms flow into being existing in the manifested universe of sound, light, energy into matter.
It has been trying on the body these last few months but I am better now. Lost a lot of weight. I am happy that I can still just shift into a space of sweetness.
I don’t have words to describe this wonderful nameless, formless, beautiful energy of God.
Sometimes no words are necessary.
My thoughts for today.
In this time of great upheaval, as the world stands on the precipice of war, mother nature is trying to help us avoid this. The natural disasters in no way compare to nuclear war which damages the atmosphere and everything around for many years. These events compels us to help our fellowman and makes us remember to be kind, to be considerate and respectful to others and share the resources of the world. When disaster strikes we see the best in humanity. When things are going too good people get restless.
Understanding our own nature will help us understand the nature around us and see that we are connected and part of everything.
Today our most watched TV shows are about solving murders and some of them are very graphic. Now children growing up looking at this stuff. Seeing something over and over makes one accustomed to it and it sort of gets acceptable. Mind you, I know that this is the reality but we don’t have to show such stuff. Sometimes I wonder about our media? They have their own agendas. Everything is about making money and building an economy.
An economy based on deception will ultimately collapse.
We actually don’t know why we exist and what it is we are here on this planet for. So we try to create things that make us happy. It does not seem to work because people who have lots of money are still unhappy. So we are working overtime most of our live to keep this monster economy going and our lives are slowly passing by with us not truly living. We have no way to avoid being part of everything in order just to have our basic needs met.
I think we will have to ultimately face the reality that we are a planet(one thing) and that co-operation will get us more fruits rather than competition. This old way of seeing things will have to change. Our old modalities will have to shift. Sometimes I think that the “cave man mentality” is still there so clubs have been replaced by guns and missiles. If people build something then they will always want to use it. I think it is the time for the “feminine” to take root.
Mother nature will always win so we have to understand our own nature and align our society and ourselves with nature. There is an intelligence working here beyond our intelligence.
The effects of hurricane Harvey are catastrophic and we salute all the heroes who have being working night and day to help. Nature makes us realize how life is such a gift and at any moment things can change.
The “march” in my song is not a literal march. It is about the words that are our tools; it’s about bringing out the best in our being as we see in the kindness and cooperation that we are witnessing now.
We can say that the rains of Harvey washed some of the hate that was spewing out in recent times. At this moment we are indeed the words of kindness and cooperation.
Here’s my song:
Seeing the pics on TV was wonderful but I wondered what would I feel outside?
I walked barefoot in my yard and started being wrapped up in bliss and joy. My nervous system was wrapped into a euphoric state of wonderfulness. As I write I am trying to remember. I am still in a state of wonderful bliss and harmony. It was not enormous eneregy pouring through my system as sometimes happens. I think, since some of the energy of th sun was blocked off so the less energy and the effect of the moon was totally effecting the Ida and pingalla within my being. It was certainly so wonderful as my feet was grounded in the earth, and a gentle breeze was blowing against my skin.
I decided I must takes some pictures while I was feeling so so wonderful. Here they are. I captured some of the wonderful rays. Sometimes we forget how much the effect the sun and moon have on our system and how much we are part of the whole. We are so connected to nature. Many are just looking at the beauty but there is more to be experienced.
Pretty interesting the first and last photo.
The mala (garland)represent the cycle of birth and rebirth and the infinite cycle of creation. The feet of the Guru represents the lost of the ego and the surrender. The flowers is the beauty of the love we share with each other as we connect to each other with the heart.
Been a while since I blogged anything. My life has reached a stage where the divine force and intelligence of the universe is running my “being” in a state that cannot be understood by many.
This divine energy of the creator is part of the creator and is embedded in us and allows us to create the life we want. But in some of us who ask the question in some lifetime “who are you God?, “who am I?”, or “I love you so much God, I can’t get you out of my mind”, then the universe begins to dance to your answers. You begin a magical journey through lifetimes and you can continue your efforts, or get lost in this illusory world again.
I was born “awakened” and had to go through lots of trials to come to my state of “being.” This intelligence that I call the Divine Mother that controls my very breath is the most intelligence force in the seen and unseen universe. She creates the world of forms. Man’s technology cannot match her technology. Our understanding of the ourselves and how things work are still not advanced. Will we destroy ourselves and have to start over?
I write now as I see her how she has turned me into the “the Satguru.” It is only that intelligence and energy that can mold anyone and anything. Many gurus are here on the planet and they teach different classes. Just as in school many are gong to elementary school, and then less to high school, then less to college level and it lessens quite a bit to the doctorate level. So too the many gurus are there guiding many others. It is the divine mother that is guiding in the Guru’s and everyone is drawn towards the guru that he or she needs.
As I was doing my sadhana I had many experiences that help to mold me into entering into this state of grace and surrender. I remember the first experience that blew my mind away. This was only about 2 yrs after I met my Guru, the great Siddha Om Maa Shree Nandini Maa. I was in meditation and was not even thinking about Lord Shiva – the master of yoga. I sat there and I began experience that I was Lord Shiva sitting in meditation but I was also here in my room sitting in my body looking at Lord Shiva. I was the same being but was also observing myself. It was something that shocked my system of comprehension and although it did not last long, I was somewhat kind of perturbed. I have no idea what other people experience but this was one of my first experiences and many times on my journey I would question my own sanity. This human body and comprehension of how it works is one of the things that all of us must try to understand. The energy system and the dynamics of the immune system and the frequency of vibration.
The Divine Mother is the one that will take the seeker to the right Guru and the one who will take us to the world of the “void” where no time, no sound, no light exist, but just consciousness. There is no energy to feel since the energy of the shakti cannot be felt for it too has become part of the consciousness.
For most of my life I would feel this energy within me but could not understand. But the Divine Mother was always working within me and now I realized many things about myself for some time now. No one has to become a guru but the divine mother is the one who will carve you into what you have to emanate to the world. No one understood Shree Nandini Maa and no one will really understand me so I have given up explaining myself to others.
How can I explain that I am like the living mantras. Many invite me to their prayers but how can I say to them, I don’t come because I experience your prayers and mantras within me. If I am in a house and someone is praying in a separate room I feel the prayers and then I send my blessings. My nervous system is so sensitive to energy or vibration that sometimes it’s too much for the body. Contrary to what all believes I don’t pray or meditate all day. In fact I don’t. It is difficult to teach meditation since my being just goes into silence. I learned that during my 7 day online program. I have learned during the past few years is that seekers come and sit in my presence they will be swept into a space of no thoughts. They would say “For the first time in my life I experienced no thoughts and felt so peaceful”. For some it’s a shock and some get scared. Others can go into states of bliss, so it all depends on the seeker.
What I have become, I cannot explain. I move with the force of the creator and just sends out love into the world. My assignment in this incarnation is about love, divine love. The thing I am discovering is that my darshan overwhelms some so I am weary of giving darshan to many. I know that true seekers will be guided to me if it is meant to be. Giving a name to myself puts me in a “box of expectation of behavior” and limits my being. So I am no one and nothing but play the various roles as they appear before me. Even sometimes I become the essence of the Gods or Guru’s of the devotee.
So these are my thoughts on this Guru Purnima day. I have no expectations of anything. I wear clothes that is comfortably for my state and I help others who seek guidance. I still play the role of the householder and realize that Shree Nandini Maa was such a great being that no one really understood her and that no one will really understand me.
Happy Guru Purnima to all who read.
May you expand the heart with divine love and may you be filled with bliss.
Peace unto you.